the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
