Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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