im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize