Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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