Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
