I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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