Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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