I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize