I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
