as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
