This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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