Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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