She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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