ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize