But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
