I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
