Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
