oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize