Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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