she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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