i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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