And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I just found puke in my bra..
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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