Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
