Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
