Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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