she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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