i think my mom watched the whole time
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
