My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
