Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
