he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize