is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
