Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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