they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
