Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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