STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
