Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
i think i just lost a toe
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
