Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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