I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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