weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
