btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
