I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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