My first STD was from a foam party
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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