she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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