My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
