It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
That accounts for only three of the penises
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
