i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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