i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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