Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
