At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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