i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
