Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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