If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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