sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
