You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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