We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
