I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
