i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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