I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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