I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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