By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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