Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
