your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
