I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
