you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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