I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
