Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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