This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
